Thursday, September 8, 2011
THE RELATIONSHIP CURE
A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones
“This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.
Monday, September 5, 2011
7 days to save your marriage
Can you remember back to when you started dating...the long talks, the loving look in your partner's eye, the soft words she would whisper in your ear? If you think those days are gone forever, don't worry. They are not.
It seems unlikely, but often marriages are easier than simple relationships to save. The love in marriages is usually still there, things have just gotten out of control. All you need to do is take back that control and remember why you married her in the first place.
That is exactly what this book is about.
This book is divided into two parts. In Part One you will learn the fundamentals of what makes a good, long-term relationship.
Part Two is the 7-day action plan. Each day we will tackle one problem area of your marriage and there will be action items for you to take to improve your relationship with your partner.
Following each action step you will know what to do, where to go and how to act to save your partnership and your marriage.
What will you learn from reading this book?
- Why marriages fail
- What the warning signs are that your marriage might be in trouble
- How to get the romance back
- How to stop divorce and save failing marriage
- A 7-day, step-by-step action plan to restore your relationship with your partner
And so much more!
It seems unlikely, but often marriages are easier than simple relationships to save. The love in marriages is usually still there, things have just gotten out of control. All you need to do is take back that control and remember why you married her in the first place.
That is exactly what this book is about.
This book is divided into two parts. In Part One you will learn the fundamentals of what makes a good, long-term relationship.
Part Two is the 7-day action plan. Each day we will tackle one problem area of your marriage and there will be action items for you to take to improve your relationship with your partner.
Following each action step you will know what to do, where to go and how to act to save your partnership and your marriage.
What will you learn from reading this book?
- Why marriages fail
- What the warning signs are that your marriage might be in trouble
- How to get the romance back
- How to stop divorce and save failing marriage
- A 7-day, step-by-step action plan to restore your relationship with your partner
And so much more!
MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP BESTSELLERS
What are terrific books. For those of you women or men trying to get through the difficult struggles of marriage, these books can really help. They are perfect for those women who always buy these marriage books for their spouses to read and find them gathering dust on a table somewhere. These books will capture the interest of you and your husband. They have really made a difference in my marriage.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Process of Healing from Extra-marital Affairs
A discovered extramarital affair of your partner is indeed devastating and knowing that you have been betrayed by the one you love will surely turn your world upside down.
Overcoming pain from marital infidelity is a long and tedious process but if both parties are willing to give the marriage another shot and believes that divorce is not the end of it all it is still possible for a happily ever after. Healing from infidelity requires both parties’ cooperation. If you are trying to make things work to keep the marriage together, you will have to accept the reality that this journey will not be an easy ride and will take more than the usual effort to put things together. Even the betrayed spouse should do conscious efforts to ignite the love and rebuild the trust again.
For the unfaithful partner, it will mean double effort to prove that you are sorry and commit that you will be honest a hundred percent this time around. It will be nice to lay all the facts of the affair so the other partner would also realize his/her shortcoming. Next is to be sorry about it. Remorse is the key in mending anything broken. Admitting to the mistake is the only way your spouse could even consider taking you back. Change your lifestyle. Accept the new rules that will be stated by the betrayed spouse like no boy’s night out or dinner dates with clients of the opposite sex again. Avoiding the scenes that led you to infidelity would be a good sign for your partner to start trusting you again.
On the other hand, the betrayed party also has steps to consider when healing from infidelity. First, you must clearly point out what must be done to regain your trust once again. Only you can decide what can mend your broken heart so it is best to make it clear. Choosing to forgive is probably the hardest step but it is necessary in order for both of you start over with clean slates. Lastly, spend time and avoid having to bring back the affair topic again. This way healing from infidelity might be faster for both of you.
Rebuilding a marriage is another leap for the both of you not only to restore your family but also for self-contentment and maturity
Overcoming pain from marital infidelity is a long and tedious process but if both parties are willing to give the marriage another shot and believes that divorce is not the end of it all it is still possible for a happily ever after. Healing from infidelity requires both parties’ cooperation. If you are trying to make things work to keep the marriage together, you will have to accept the reality that this journey will not be an easy ride and will take more than the usual effort to put things together. Even the betrayed spouse should do conscious efforts to ignite the love and rebuild the trust again.
For the unfaithful partner, it will mean double effort to prove that you are sorry and commit that you will be honest a hundred percent this time around. It will be nice to lay all the facts of the affair so the other partner would also realize his/her shortcoming. Next is to be sorry about it. Remorse is the key in mending anything broken. Admitting to the mistake is the only way your spouse could even consider taking you back. Change your lifestyle. Accept the new rules that will be stated by the betrayed spouse like no boy’s night out or dinner dates with clients of the opposite sex again. Avoiding the scenes that led you to infidelity would be a good sign for your partner to start trusting you again.
On the other hand, the betrayed party also has steps to consider when healing from infidelity. First, you must clearly point out what must be done to regain your trust once again. Only you can decide what can mend your broken heart so it is best to make it clear. Choosing to forgive is probably the hardest step but it is necessary in order for both of you start over with clean slates. Lastly, spend time and avoid having to bring back the affair topic again. This way healing from infidelity might be faster for both of you.
Rebuilding a marriage is another leap for the both of you not only to restore your family but also for self-contentment and maturity
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
How To Get Your Partner To Love You Again
If your spouse is no longer in love with you as when you are dating, do not panic. However bad the situation may be, there is still a way for you to rekindle yoru relationship and get your spouse to love you again.
The first step is to understanding. It is very easy for you to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actually loving each other when it is no longer the case. After their dating days have ended, the couples no longer feel the same excitement and sexual attachment as before.
Unlike dating, there are more commitments and responsibilities in marriage. Unlike those you face in school and work, these will be what we need to face for the next 10, 20 or even 30 years down the road and even more so when you have children.
Love is more than just being fond of that person and expressing your feelings for him or her. It is all about caring, sharing and even sacrificing everything you have if the situation requires be it from your spouse, children or both. That includes the things you love and freedom you cherish during your single days.
Every single thing you do be it work, spending money and even hobbies, you need to take their feelings into consideration. Such as telling and discussing with them even though there is a possibility of them not agreeing with you all the time.
It is never easy but this is what love is really all about whether you agree with what I just mentioned or not. If you cannot forsake certain things like playing video games, watching movies and shopping, then marriage and even parenthood is not for you.
Even when you have a steady stream of regular and passive income, you still need to set aside some time for your spouse and children. Not once or twice a week but every single day.
Every relationship has 4 stages as in falling in love, honeymoon bliss, disagreements and then being stronger or weaker in marriages.
Just because we find fault with each other, it is very easy for positive feelings to fade. It takes proper undersanding or even dire circumstances - when we are forced to work together – to build our relationship all over again.
Love is a commitment and responsibility. You cannot just express verbally but through actions and sacrifices I already mentioned. Mature couples love each other as a whole and not by looks and circumstances alone.
The next step is to spend quality time talking and listening to your spouse. If you both do not talk, it is very hard to cultivate feelings for each other and for your relationship to grow further.
Finally, give in to your spouse without expecting anything in return. This will make you a more mature person in the eyes of your spouse.
Understanding, spending time and accommodating are small things that you should do everyday to build trust, intimacy and love with each other.
The first step is to understanding. It is very easy for you to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actually loving each other when it is no longer the case. After their dating days have ended, the couples no longer feel the same excitement and sexual attachment as before.
Unlike dating, there are more commitments and responsibilities in marriage. Unlike those you face in school and work, these will be what we need to face for the next 10, 20 or even 30 years down the road and even more so when you have children.
Love is more than just being fond of that person and expressing your feelings for him or her. It is all about caring, sharing and even sacrificing everything you have if the situation requires be it from your spouse, children or both. That includes the things you love and freedom you cherish during your single days.
Every single thing you do be it work, spending money and even hobbies, you need to take their feelings into consideration. Such as telling and discussing with them even though there is a possibility of them not agreeing with you all the time.
It is never easy but this is what love is really all about whether you agree with what I just mentioned or not. If you cannot forsake certain things like playing video games, watching movies and shopping, then marriage and even parenthood is not for you.
Even when you have a steady stream of regular and passive income, you still need to set aside some time for your spouse and children. Not once or twice a week but every single day.
Every relationship has 4 stages as in falling in love, honeymoon bliss, disagreements and then being stronger or weaker in marriages.
Just because we find fault with each other, it is very easy for positive feelings to fade. It takes proper undersanding or even dire circumstances - when we are forced to work together – to build our relationship all over again.
Love is a commitment and responsibility. You cannot just express verbally but through actions and sacrifices I already mentioned. Mature couples love each other as a whole and not by looks and circumstances alone.
The next step is to spend quality time talking and listening to your spouse. If you both do not talk, it is very hard to cultivate feelings for each other and for your relationship to grow further.
Finally, give in to your spouse without expecting anything in return. This will make you a more mature person in the eyes of your spouse.
Understanding, spending time and accommodating are small things that you should do everyday to build trust, intimacy and love with each other.
Monday, April 25, 2011
STEPS THAT COULD SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Sometimes, we make things difficult for ourselves or tend to over analyze what is really going on. The following steps could be all you need to stand the course of events that lead to saving your marriage.
1- Calm down, don’t rush in making decisions. One of the most important things it to do is to remind yourself constantly, that in a situation like this, you may not be thinking clearly, and rushing to any decision may not be a wise thing to do. Try to find avenues to relax, spend some time reflecting, this could either be through mediation, a relaxing hobby like fishing, a sport, or even reading a novel (make sure it isn’t related to anything negative about relationships, that’s the last thing you need).
2- Focus 80% of your energy on the solution and 20% of the problem. This really applies to anything in life, if you focus on the problem, then all you’ll be able to see is the problem, and your mind will be limited in what options it can give you. However when you see a solution in your mind while acknowledging the problem, your mind is much more useful in helping you out.
3- If your spouse isn’t cooperating, it doesn’t mean that’s it. Sometimes your spouse might have been harboring long term resentment that keeps on getting fueled by certain actions you might be completely unaware of. The key is to be patient, because it is possible to reverse the situation, as things do come through but a bit slower than expected, because your spouse needs to feel that the new you is for real, and not some temporary fix.
4- Look inside yourself. It is normal to be selfish in certain matters, but often our selfishness affects our spouse. Most times we can’t see it as emotionally draining for our partner in marriage, so we really need to reflect, ask ourselves questions, maybe we are doing something our partner has complained numerous occasions but we just failed to see it, because we were so in tuned with ourselves. The key is to identify it, and if you find yourself saying: “but I have a right to do so” or “they get to do the things they like and I don’t say anything about it” then you are asking the wrong questions. The right questions always replace “me” with “we”, when you see things from a married couple’s perspective instead of your own, everything changes. And don’t worry, your spouse is likely to meet you half way once they see a shift in you and new hope.
The best action to take, is all possible actions, not one of two, because you never know what could work for you. Also watch for what is working and what isn’t, and make sure you are doing more of what works. With the right intentions and a bit of courage, you and your spouse will get through this difficulty and experience the warmth of the sun on the bright side.
2- Focus 80% of your energy on the solution and 20% of the problem. This really applies to anything in life, if you focus on the problem, then all you’ll be able to see is the problem, and your mind will be limited in what options it can give you. However when you see a solution in your mind while acknowledging the problem, your mind is much more useful in helping you out.
3- If your spouse isn’t cooperating, it doesn’t mean that’s it. Sometimes your spouse might have been harboring long term resentment that keeps on getting fueled by certain actions you might be completely unaware of. The key is to be patient, because it is possible to reverse the situation, as things do come through but a bit slower than expected, because your spouse needs to feel that the new you is for real, and not some temporary fix.
4- Look inside yourself. It is normal to be selfish in certain matters, but often our selfishness affects our spouse. Most times we can’t see it as emotionally draining for our partner in marriage, so we really need to reflect, ask ourselves questions, maybe we are doing something our partner has complained numerous occasions but we just failed to see it, because we were so in tuned with ourselves. The key is to identify it, and if you find yourself saying: “but I have a right to do so” or “they get to do the things they like and I don’t say anything about it” then you are asking the wrong questions. The right questions always replace “me” with “we”, when you see things from a married couple’s perspective instead of your own, everything changes. And don’t worry, your spouse is likely to meet you half way once they see a shift in you and new hope.
The best action to take, is all possible actions, not one of two, because you never know what could work for you. Also watch for what is working and what isn’t, and make sure you are doing more of what works. With the right intentions and a bit of courage, you and your spouse will get through this difficulty and experience the warmth of the sun on the bright side.
It's up to you! If you don't save your marriage,then who will?
Saturday, January 15, 2011
How Do I Fix My Marriage?
"How do I fix my marriage?" Whoever asks this question should first be commended for actually trying to fix their marriages instead of doing nothing and accepting a divorce. Marriages are the holiest of institutions, the core piece of any nation. Without a strong core, no nation can claim prosperity - it will fall apart. That is why the extremely high divorce rates are bothering me so much. So I commend you for at least searching for ways on fixing your broken marriage rather than just accepting to become another divorce statistic.
Fixing your marriage is not an easy thing to do, but there is certainly no lack of things you can do to save your marriage. There are so many places to start, but as always, the best place to start is by looking at ourselves.
How Do I Fix My Marriage?
I am sure that you feel one of the following two: A.) It's all your fault B.) It's all his fault.
It is obvious that neither of those can be true. Sure, the blame doesn't have to be 50-50% on all cases, and it's probable that one of you two was more responsible for the breaking of your marriage. However, that doesn't make the other side completely innocent, and for sure doesn't give them the right to blame the other.
So, stop the blame game and start thinking how you can improve things. Did you know that the number one problem with marriages is that either one or both of the spouses take the other for granted? It's so true - and is the fundamental problem in more than half of all the divorces.
Did you stop appreciating your spouse? Or did your spouse stop appreciating you? Both of them are very damaging to the marriage - and can cause a lot of arguments that can flare up easily, turning into nasty fights.
If you come to the realization that you don't show your appreciation to your spouse anymore, then you can simply start doing so. It is easy to make your spouse feel appreciated.
When trying to re-ignite the romance, some certain things you can do and say can literally force your spouse to feel the way he or she was when you were flirting. And doing the wrong things might make your spouse even less attracted towards you. If you want to learn how to do the former, I suggest you visit this helpful site and learn how I managed to do this myself.Fixing your marriage is not an easy thing to do, but there is certainly no lack of things you can do to save your marriage. There are so many places to start, but as always, the best place to start is by looking at ourselves.
How Do I Fix My Marriage?
I am sure that you feel one of the following two: A.) It's all your fault B.) It's all his fault.
It is obvious that neither of those can be true. Sure, the blame doesn't have to be 50-50% on all cases, and it's probable that one of you two was more responsible for the breaking of your marriage. However, that doesn't make the other side completely innocent, and for sure doesn't give them the right to blame the other.
So, stop the blame game and start thinking how you can improve things. Did you know that the number one problem with marriages is that either one or both of the spouses take the other for granted? It's so true - and is the fundamental problem in more than half of all the divorces.
Did you stop appreciating your spouse? Or did your spouse stop appreciating you? Both of them are very damaging to the marriage - and can cause a lot of arguments that can flare up easily, turning into nasty fights.
If you come to the realization that you don't show your appreciation to your spouse anymore, then you can simply start doing so. It is easy to make your spouse feel appreciated.
It doesn't matter how bad the situation is now - even if your spouse has already asked for a divorce. You can get the situation under your control and use certain techniques to make your spouse naturally fall in love with you a second time
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